Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
As shirtless as possible
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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