I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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