Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
