Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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