Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
