Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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