am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
