they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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