At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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