Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
