I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
