There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize