My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize