don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
