Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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