Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
