normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
