They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
