'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
