found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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