She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
