I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
