I need help removing her.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
