If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
