What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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