Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
