Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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