no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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