Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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