My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
