I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
