He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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