Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
