next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
