I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Help. Why am I so naked?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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