I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
