At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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