Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
