I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize