New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
