Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
