every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
