doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
