Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
