mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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