i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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