the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
