Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize