We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
