You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
