they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Mom said you looked used
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
