This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm always down for nudity.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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