You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
