it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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