i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
