My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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