So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
