Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
