im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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