: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
