he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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