This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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