I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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