At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
