I wannas sexs uuuuu
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
