Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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