wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
