Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
