and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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