we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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