hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
