Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Farmville is her only friend.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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