I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
