Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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