yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
