you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
