I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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