uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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