so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
