Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
