I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
